[What to Do When a Wife Cannot Bear Life with Her Husband]

Answer -with Allah’s help: If the judge verifies the wife’s truthfulness about the intensity of her aversion and her inability to live with him, he compels the husband to divorce her. If the husband refuses except on condition that she return what she took from him, he may have that; the judge then asks her to return what she took so he will divorce. If he still refuses after her offer, the judge compels him to divorce and may imprison him for it. If he persists in refusal, the judge or the imām pronounces the separation on his behalf—since the purpose of appointing a judge is to remove injustice, grant redress, and resolve disputes.
This is pursued after reconciliation efforts have failed; when it becomes clear there is no way to harmonize them except separation, the judge may separate them …etc.
This may be inferred from His saying: “Retention in kindness or release with good treatment.” [al-Baqara:22], and “Do not retain them to harm them so that you transgress.” [al-Baqara:23], and “Their husbands have more right to take them back during that period if they desire reconciliation.” [al-Baqara:228].
Allah has clarified the process, addressing judges and guardians: “If you fear a breach between them, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family; if they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about harmony between them.” [an-Nisāʾ:35].
Many scholars said in interpreting this verse: If the two arbiters see that separation is best, they separate them; and if they see otherwise, they act accordingly.
Source: Min Thimār al-ʿIlm wa al-Ḥikmah vol.1